No, this is not a review for that Simon Pegg movie. This is a true story about a fat guy that ran a half marathon.
First off, let me say… running is quite stupid. (Let me clarify, running when it’s not from the cops is stupid.) While the act of running is pointless, the way I feel after completing a run is amazing. This wave of excitement comes over me… like, “I just did that!!” In the past, I ran a few 5Ks and a 12K…. but I hadn’t run in almost a year when I got this sudden idea.
I’m going to run a half-marathon.
And then I took it one step further. I actually signed up for the Tallahassee Half Marathon. Then it hit me… I have to actually train for this. The longest run I had ever done before was 9 miles and that was over a year ago! So I started training by running at least three times a week, and I only got up to 8 miles, which just about killed me. It doesn’t help that I run incredibly slow, but I have asthma and I’m fat, so what did I expect?
And then the day came… the half marathon was finally here. I wasn’t prepared at all. As a matter of fact, I debated just sleeping in, which is much less stupid than running. But, I reluctantly kissed my wife goodbye, she wished me good luck, and I left my house at 6am.
I drove to FSU’s Tully Gym and picked up my race packet and I went back to sit in my car to keep warm until race time. (It was about 35 degrees out.) At 7am, I got out of the car to stretch and get my iPod ready. And at 7:30am, I started running.
This was the Tallahassee Marathon and Half Marathon, and all of the runners started at the same time. The difference between the courses was that we all ran down Woodville Hwy along a bike trail, but the half-marathoners turned just before Capital Circle, whereas the marathoners ran all the way into Woodville. But we all made a u-turn and ran back the same way we came from.
Let me tell you, there is something freaky about running past a sign that says, “Leaving city limits.” That really drove it home that I had to run all the way back to FSU… and I knew once I reached the turn-around point, I still had about 6 miles to go. I must say, the encouragement from the other half-marathoners that had already turned around was amazing. People were smiling and saying “good job” as we passed each other. I saw one guy who looked like he was ready to die. I couldn’t help but watch him, almost expecting him to collapse mid-stride… but then he smiled and gave me a thumbs up. I gave him a thumbs up back and knew that he would make it back, and so could I.
During the run, I was constantly passing and getting passed by three ladies. At one point, I was walking and they passed me and I said “Oh, hi again!” One of the ladies asked if I was having fun yet… and I promised to have fun at the finish line. They invited me to run with them, so I did. They introduced themselves as Terri, Becky, and Susan. “Susan decided to run this race at 5am today!” said Terri. I told her that at 5am, my wife was soundly asleep in bed, where she most likely still was… and I envied her. I eventually ran on when they stopped for a drink.
Then something major happened just before I hit mile 9. A marathoner passed me. This means that in the two hours it took me to get to mile 9, they ran to Woodville and back and were almost to their 22 mile mark. That… is insane. Then a guy in a wheelchair passed me… and HE was doing the marathon. (Congrats to him, by the way… because that takes some strength! I am proud of that guy!)
The entire time I was running, I kept “battling” an old guy who looked like he was speed walking. I would pass him, and then I’d slow down and he’d pass me. At a drink station near mile 10, I stopped for some gatorade and a volunteer asked how it was going. I told her I was tired, but my only goal was to beat the guy that was walking.
Around the 11.5 mile mark, the toes in my right foot cramped up. I never knew that my toes could cramp… but they just sort of bent down under my foot and wouldn’t move. I stopped and sat on a guardrail and took my shoe off and stretched my toes out. Susan (from earlier) ran by (without Terri and Becky), made sure I was ok, and kept running. A guy that was nearby directing traffic came over and asked what was up. I told him that my toes cramped, and he starts massaging my foot. He told me that he works with marathoners, and that a lot of them get bloody feet, so my cramps weren’t anything to worry about. He said I just need to stay hydrated. While I was getting my free massage, the speed walking guy went past, and I never caught up to him.
Finally, I made it near the finish line… and as I turned a corner to enter the track, I saw my wife standing there cheering me on. And honestly, that was the best part of my entire day. I had been cheered on by other runners, ran with some fun people, got a foot massage from a stranger, and was outrun by Old Man Walking… but nothing beat the feeling of turning that corner and seeing my wife there. It was in that moment that I knew that I accomplished something amazing. As I ran past Julie, I yelled to her, “I had to seek medical attention!!” and I kept running.
I crossed the finish line about 3 hours and 3 minutes after the race began, which is really slow, but I finished. And that’s what matters. I went out there and did something that most people can’t say they’ve done. Two minutes after I finished, Terri and Becky finished (Susan finished before me), and they came up still cheering me on. “KEVIN!! You did it! And your wife showed up!!”
During the race, I burned 3,486 calories (according to my heart rate monitor), so I treated myself to a Cinnabon, which is only 730 calories. Then I treated myself to a 3 hour nap!
So what’s next for this half-marathoner? First… a few days of rest. I am so sore I can barely walk. I want to start improving my pace and running faster miles. I’ll probably enter next year’s Tallahassee Half Marathon, but run a few shorter races between now and then. But until then, I’ll just be happy that I accomplished something amazing by doing something incredibly stupid.
And by the way, I didn’t like the movie Run Fatboy Run.
Tags: half marathon, running, tallahassee
