• I love the story of Alice in Wonderland (the original)
• I like most of Tim Burton’s work. It’s dark and quirky, and I like that.
• I love Johnny Depp.

When I found out that a (new) live version of Alice in Wonderland was coming out, I was excited. There have been a few remakes in the past, and they haven’t been all that amazing. When I found out that Tim Burton was directing this new version, I was both excited and worried. Tim Burton has a way of taking a good story and making it weird, which is fine because that’s just his style. Sometimes his dark, quirkiness makes a movie awesome (Big Fish) and sometimes it makes a movie fall short (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory).

Side note: To be fair, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was a good movie. Visually, I loved it. I just didn’t like that it was became a musical. Plus, I couldn’t get past the idea that Johnny Depp’s Willy Wonka was a child molester, when I never got that impression from Gene Wilder. It was just awkward to watch.

As March 5th drew closer and I saw more trailers for Alice in Wonderland, I started getting nervous about how the movie would turn out. And as it turns out, I had a right to be nervous. Overall, the movie was good. I didn’t love it. I didn’t hate it.

Visually, the movie was great. We saw it in IMAX 3D and I was pretty impressed with it. I think that Avatar was done better in 3D, but it’s a different caliber of movie. Avatar was meant to be beautiful, Alice was meant to be eye-popping. Unfortunately, my biggest fear of Alice being in 3D was realized a few times when it became gimmicky. I hate when you’re seeing a movie in 3D and they make stuff fly out towards you, rather than letting the 3D just add depth to the scene. One example of this is when the Mad Hatter throws some scrolls towards you. Another example is the Cheshire Cat’s head floating out towards you. Some movies I can understand being gimmicky, like Final Destination 3D. But I think Avatar had it right when they just let the 3D enhance the world.

At times, the CGI gets rubbery. The biggest example I saw of this was near the beginning during the Bandersnatch scene. When Crispin Glover’s character jumps on his horse and rides away, he looks obviously fake. I figure if you can make an entirely CGI world look amazing, you can take a little extra time to make the people within that world look amazing, too. (Another movie that this happened in was The Matrix Revolutions when Neo is fighting the swarm of Agent Smiths.)

Overall, the character design was really good. The Cheshire Cat was done much better than I expected… the way he vaporizes in and out of the scenes is pretty awesome.

I didn’t think I’d like Mia Wasikowska as Alice. I don’t really know anything about her, but just from the trailers, she isn’t at all what I pictured for Alice. However, she did a fantastic job, and I actually loved her in that part.

My biggest complaint is of Johnny Depp. I love Johnny Depp. He’s a fantastic actor and does great in every part that he plays. But I’m afraid that he’s gotten himself into a Tim Burton hole that he can’t dig himself out of. I understand that they work well together, but it’s gotten to the point now where all of Depp’s character in Burton movies seem the same. Depp is always completely bizarre, which I guess makes sense considering most of Burton’s characters are completely off the wall. But as soon as I saw Depp, though, I thought, “Oh great… he’s Willy Wonka again.” And I understand that the Hatter is supposed to be… well, Mad… but I just kept thinking that after Willy Wonka gave his chocolate factory to Charlie, he became a hatter in Wonderland.

I couldn’t understand most of what Depp was saying between the weird accent/voice he had and the constant mumbling. At times, I almost heard some Jack Sparrow coming through. Plus, the fact that the writer of the screenplay made up actual names for the characters and made up some other random words just made it really difficult.

Speaking of the screenwriter, it’s important to realize that this is a new take on Alice in Wonderland, so don’t go in expecting to see Disney cartoon version in live action form. There are some things that you’ll recognize, but a lot of new stuff has been added. I didn’t mind this at all, and I actually thought that it really added to the movie. If it was just the same old story, it would have been pretty boring. There were a few moments in the movie, though… one, in particular, that I won’t name because it will give something away… where I thought, “Did that just really happen?” or “That was completely unnecessary.”

Overall, I liked the movie. The visuals and the story definitely helped balance out the other problems that I had with it, but I definitely won’t go see it again, and I probably won’t buy it when it comes out on DVD. I’d give it 3 out of 5 stars.

As soon as we found out that we were going to have a baby, we bought a book of 60,000 baby names. Over the course of a few week, Julie and I took turns looking through the book, selecting both boy and girls names that we liked. To keep from being influenced by each others choices, I built a quick little web application where we could enter the names we liked. It would then match up the names we both agreed on, and throw out the names that we didn’t agree on.

What we ended up with was a list of fifty names (twenty-six boy names and twenty-four girl names) that we agreed on. The plan was to wait until after we found out if we were having a boy or a girl to start narrowing the list down. We would each rate the names and whichever had the highest average rating would be the name.

After we found out that we were having a boy, we went out to lunch before going on a baby boy clothes shopping spree. While sitting at lunch, Julie said, “I think I know what his name is…. Nathan.” I said, “Ok.” It was on our list and I liked that he had options. Later in life, he could decide if he wanted to be Nate, Nathan, or Nathaniel. Plus, saying Baby Nate was just cute.

We decided to keep the name a secret from everyone. There are a few reasons for this. First, we told everyone that we were having a boy, but we we wanted to keep something a secret. By telling people that it was a boy, they could buy boy-colored things. Second, we didn’t want people’s opinions on the name. Nathaniel isn’t a weird name or anything, but Julie is a teacher, so while we were discussing names, she’d often say, “No, I taught a _______. They were evil.” Or I would say, “I like the name _________, but it reminds me of so-and-so.” And as much as we’d like to think that people could keep their opinions to themselves, we know that people like to share their input, so we thought it was best to just keep the name a secret. Because who would honestly say, “Oh, Baby Nate is so cute… too bad I know a Nate that beats his wife.”

Side note: We have a friend, Cristina, who had a baby girl a few years ago. She was naming her Sadie. Most people called Sadie are named something else, like Sarah, and Sadie is just the nickname. However, Cristina was going with just Sadie. She told us that way too many people told her, “I have a dog named Sadie,” when she’d tell them her babies name.

So we had our first name, but we still needed a middle name. We thought about honoring Julie’s dad, Julian, somehow since he passed away during the pregnancy. But the Juli-’s ran deep into the family roots and Julie wanted to get away from it. Plus, there isn’t much you can do for boys besides Julian or Julius. Then we considered my side of the family. My grandfather’s and father’s middle names was Edward and my middle name is Eric. There seemed to be an E trend, so I asked my mom if that was a family tradition thing. She said no, but we still considered E names. Then we also considered other completely unrelated names. Nothing ever really seemed to stick. But we’ll get back to the middle name in a minute…

Nathaniel means “God given.” Julie got pregnant while her dad was in the hospital. When we found out we were expecting, Julie told her dad, but didn’t tell the rest of the family. We wanted to wait to make sure she didn’t miscarry. The same day of the first ultrasound confirming that we were having a baby, we had to rush from Tallahassee to Orlando because Julie’s dad wasn’t doing well. We told her mom and brother the great news, and the next day, Julie’s dad passed away. Even though God took away Julie’s dad, He was giving us a baby to carry on the family tree.

We chose the middle name, Mac, because it’s short and cute and has a lot of meaning behind it. First, Julie’s maiden name is McDonald. People who knew Julie’s dad called him Mr. Mac. When we got married, everyone called us the McSwitzers, and when we said we were having a baby, they called it Baby McSwitzer. So, Mac is a throwback to Julie’s dad and maiden name. Mac means “son of.”

So our son’s name means, “God given son of Switzer.” Sounds pretty powerful, huh?

So, here’s my first mind dump ever:

• Due dates come and due dates go
• Dave Ramsey says no
• Life with basic cable isn’t bad, and is $40 cheaper
• I want to hang out with Michael Cera
• I totally mistook Pat Robertson for Robert Pattinson, and couldn’t figure out why everyone was mad at the vampire
• The devastation in Haiti if heart-wrenching, but it’s amazing that people are praying for and donating money to Haiti more than ever before
• Particle Man is still an awesome song
• I am very thankful for YouVersion.com… even if some of the site doesn’t work for me, what they do is amazing and I totally respect the YouVersion team
• By buying things on sale and using coupons, we bought $135 for $77, saving $58!!
• When someone says they don’t believe in God, Pastor Mark Michael says, “Tell me about the God you don’t believe in.” When they describe an unloving, unjust God, he responds, “I don’t believe in that God either.” I love that.
• I found my lost running shorts
• … so I ran!
• Prayer works… I know this because my budget says so.
• “You’re a cheerio… I need you to be a bagel.”

Every January 1st, I come up with a list of goals for the upcoming year. In 2009, it was to read fifty books. I read fifty-one. This year, I actually came up with six goals. But I just threw all of them out the window. Just now. I just came up with a new resolution.

Out of the fifty-one books that I read in 2009, I felt that only one was deserving of a 5-star rating*. That book was Donald Miller’s A Million Miles In A Thousand Years. The book is a memoir about Donald editing his book Blue Like Jazz (another memoir) into a movie. The people writing the movie with him want to change some details from the book (and from his real life) to make them more interesting for the movie. Donald goes into depth about what makes a good story, and how rather than editing your memoir to make it better, you should just live a better story to begin with.

Donald Miller recently wrote two blogs about New Year’s resolutions, or more accurately, an alternative to resolutions. The blogs can be found here and here. These blogs inspired me to make the following “resolution” for 2010:

Live a better story.

What does that mean? It means that I need to make climactic scenes in my life. I need to try new things even if they make me uncomfortable. As Donald Miller says on his blog, “The idea is to create scenes this year you’ll remember for the rest of your life, and to invite others into the thrill of being alive.”

I still have some goals that I want to accomplish, but years from now, I won’t remember them. I won’t remember paying off a credit card. I won’t remember how many books I read. None of that will matter. My resolution is to live a story that I will remember twenty, thirty, sixty years from now. By then, I may not remember that it was 2010 that the memories were made, but it won’t matter.

This year will come and go, but the memories I make in it will last forever.

* My book rating system: 5-star = I loved it, 4- I really liked it, 3- I liked it, 2- I didn’t like it, 1- I hated it

Now, I have no desire to start the unfortunate habit of smoking, as it leads to health issues and early death. However, because this company allows for it’s employees to take smoke breaks (if they so choose), logic tells me that I (as a non-smoker) should also be granted permission to not work for approximately the amount of time of daily smoke breaks.

I am not a smoker, but I have acquainted myself with smokers before, and know that a smoke break is a time of clearing your mind of work-related issues (while filling your lungs with nasty nicotine and countless other chemicals).

In the same light, during a vacation, you clear your mind of all things work-related. Based on this, a smoke break should be considered a ten (10) minute vacation from work.

For your convenience, I have broken down my history of not taking smoke vacations versus the amount of time I have freely given the company by continuing to work through said smoke vacations.

Taking weekends and holidays into consideration, I have worked here for approximately 320 days. Assuming the average smoker take three (3) ten minute smoke vacations each day (approximately 30 minutes per day), I have missed around 9,600 minutes of smoke vacations. By dividing 9,600 minutes by 480 minutes (8 hours), I have approximated that in my time as an employee for this company, I have not taken twenty (20) days worth of vacation.

My question is as follows: Do I have to take all twenty (20!!!!) days (or four weeks) of vacation before the end of the year, or can I roll them over to next year?

Thank you for your time and attention in this matter.

I finally found my reason to change.

Please read the email that I sent to Pandora below for details:

Dearest Pandora,
On July 30th, I created a station called California Radio. It’s a mix of rap and rock. On July 31st, the Jonas Brothers popped up. I’m like, “Why is this kiddie music showing up on my station??” But I give it a thumbs down and move along with my day.

Then on August 6th, Hannah Montana comes on. Now, I love me some Hannah Montana when I’m drunk and trying to annoy my wife, but last I checked, Pandora doesn’t drink, and has no excuse for annoying me on purpose. BUT… I have a mental rant, thumbs down the song and move on.

But today, Pandora, you have done it for the last time. I’m listening to some rap, enjoying my day… I even thought at one point, “Wow, Pandora is on a roll today.” And then something horrible happened. At first I thought it was some Kidz Bop crap coming through my station, which is rap and rock. I look over at my Pandora screen (YES, I even have a computer screen dedicated to Pandora [http://twitpic.com/bhrkv]) and it’s the Naked Brothers Band.

Now first off, this kid music doesn’t belong in a rap/rock station. And second off, what kind of name is this for a kid’s band?! Are they TRYING to promote kiddie porn??

Don’t get me wrong… I love Pandora. I have even told my wife that my wedding ring symbolizes my marriage to Pandora. But seriously, if my wife did to me what Pandora is doing, I’d divorce her. So… consider this me filing the paperwork. I can understand this happening once. Twice is a little questionable. But three times is unacceptable.

I signed up for Pandora One on May 28th. Please tell me how to go about getting a refund… even if it’s pro-rated.

It’s been fun, Pandora, but apparently all good things must come to an end. I just wish it didn’t have to happen over the kiddie music you’re trying to shove down my earholes.

Love,
Kevin

P.S. – My wife didn’t pay for Pandora One and she just said, “Mine’s free and doesn’t play that.”

If there’s one thing I’ve been learning recently, it’s that I need God more than I like to admit. I just liked the idea that I could control my own life. It’s my life, not God’s. But the truth is, I’ve seen what happens in my life when I pray and put my full faith in God, and also what happens when I don’t. And the latter is not a pretty sight.

I have no clue what my future holds, but I believe that everything that happens in my life is happening to prepare me for greater things. God is my farmer, and I want Him to plow me.

One thing we heard a lot was that Julie should take Omega-3 fish oil pills because it helps the baby’s brain and heart development. After talking to a midwife at the doctor’s office where we go, we learned that it’s the DHA in the fish oil pills that is good for brain and heart development. In addition to being healthy for the baby, DHA pills are a (supposedly) good supplement that help prevent Alzheimer’s and cancer.

You can get DHA by taking fish oil pills, but be warned… there is a horrible side-effect: burping the flavor of fish. The pill doesn’t make you burp, but when you do burp, you can taste the fish. However, you can buy a DHA supplement that is not made from fish oil.

About a month ago, Julie and I started taking the fish-free DHA pills. Shortly after, I learned that the fish-burp side effect isn’t limited to the fish oil pills, because I started burping fish. This is strange considering the DHA supplement specifically says that it’s not made with any fish products.

After some research, I discovered that the DHA supplement is derived from algae, rather than fish. What I suppose happens is that you can get the DHA in non-fish form from algae, or you can get it from fish because fish eat the algae. However, why does my algae-derived pill taste like fish?

This leads me to ponder the following: Do fish tastes like fish, or do fish tastes like algae? It is possible that fish don’t taste like fish at all, but instead taste like the algae they eat, and all along we’ve just thought they tasted like fish.

A coworker brought up the quote from The Matrix:

You have to wonder: how do the machines know what Tasty Wheat tasted like? Maybe they got it wrong. Maybe what I think Tasty Wheat tasted like actually tasted like oatmeal, or tuna fish. That makes you wonder about a lot of things. You take chicken, for example: maybe they couldn’t figure out what to make chicken taste like, which is why chicken tastes like everything.